Having Things Given to You Hurts You, Not the Other Way Around
I was mocked the other day because of the fact that I "had some things paid for" for me in my younger days. Sure, that is true. I was pampered with a bit of monetary luxury for a few years between the ages of 17 and 23. I had the majority of two nice vehicles bought for me, which I tore through. I also was supported through college and even had most of my tuition paid for. Does this make me one of those people on reality TV? Did I have everything handed to me, which is why I'm doing well today?
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15 Comments
- Emily says:April 25, 2013 at 12:18 AM
Good for you. People love to play the "who had it the worst" game. You give great advice and have helped a ton of people. Keep it up, we need you!
- Pauline says:April 25, 2013 at 4:04 AM
My parents got us ready with finances around age 12, saying at 18 we would be on our own. I left home at 17 and paid my way through college. I was responsible with money, worked several jobs and graduated debt free when other friends took on truckloads of debt. My cousins had all their fees paid for by their parents as long as they were studying hard, and were just as responsible as I was. I think you can give your kids money and still raise financially responsible adults.
- Pablo says:April 25, 2013 at 8:22 AM
Amen, brother!
- Wade says:April 25, 2013 at 8:50 AM
The last 5-6 years I've noticed that is far worse to have your success "out there" for people to see than your failure. I am actually much more secretive about success these days. An example, I told a friend during a discussion that we had paid off our mortgage (I was 38). He told someone, who told someone. A liberal co-worker then would refer to me as a 1%er when I would see him. The haters will hate. I applaud your blog because it is easier to talk about failure. People gladly accept failure and relish it. Success not so much. You are changing your family tree. If/when you have kids, you will teach them to not use debt. I plan on paying for my kids college with cash. That won't sit well with some, but they won't enter post-college with a mountain of debt.
- Kraig @ Young Cheap Living says:April 25, 2013 at 9:24 AM
Exactly, Wade. My kids will have their college paid for as well. Not to spoil them, but to make sure they get an education without debt. If I save the money as a parent, I have the right to fund their college. And my kids don't need to be picked on because I saved and was able to pay for their college. Good points by the way on having your failures out there versus your successes.
- Peter says:April 25, 2013 at 9:08 AM
I think you hit the nail on the head with this one when you say, "Life will hit us all in different ways AND God will bless us in different ways." I think that is so true. We'll all have to go through different situations, good and bad. How we end up coming out the other side all depends on how we react to those situations, with determination and hard work or with a sense of entitlement. Some of us will have to deal with extreme hardship, like you did in losing your father as a teenager. That's hard to deal with and no one should have to go through something like that. Others are having everything given to them, and in the end feel a sense of entitlement - and when things aren't handed to them on a silver spoon in the real world they crumble. Kraig, I think you've had some hard life situations to deal with, you had a period where your finances weren't 100% where they should be, but you took responsibility and came out the other side a better person for it - and you're now helping others to do the same. That's to be commended!
- Kraig @ Young Cheap Living says:April 25, 2013 at 9:28 AM
Thanks, Peter. I appreciate your kind words and encouragement. I'm definitely not out to brag about getting some things handed to me. My turnaround and hard work of getting where I have gotten didn't come as a result of that. And I feel it's important to show others how if we want to achieve something, we have to do it ourselves.
- Mandy says:April 25, 2013 at 9:22 AM
If you're a person that used to having everything handed to you without having to work for it, then I definitely think this will hurt you in the long run. However, I also had a good portion of my college tuition paid for both by a fund set up by my late grandparents and payments made by my dad; my dad even helped me pay for the loan after I graduated. Eventually, my dad stopped helping me with my bills once he lost his job and had to worry about himself first, but I always appreciated what he did and the fact I have low student loan payments as a result. One thing neither one of my parents helped me with was the $8,000 of credit card and charge card debt I racked up while I was in college. When I graduated my dad handed me a check for $2,000 and said either take a vacation or use it to pay off your debt. To this day, I'll always remember I used my college graduation gift to pay off my credit card. I got myself completely out of debt a few years later and have stayed out of it ever since.
- Kraig @ Young Cheap Living says:April 25, 2013 at 9:29 AM
Great job, Mandy! That's awesome.
- krantcents says:April 25, 2013 at 12:01 PM
I agree with you, however some things are earned. I received a new car when I graduated college. I never owned a car until then. Despite that, I think most people appreciate the things they actually work for.
- SHP says:April 25, 2013 at 3:53 PM
Well, I had to pay for my own college and still got into debt. LOL. Although not the secret to retiring it is the secret to at least not living in debt - spend less than you earn or Earn more than you spend. I think there is a suttle difference. The former encourages thriftyness while the latter one says go ahead and spend as long as you earn more.
- jim says:April 25, 2013 at 5:48 PM
Kraig, I totally get where you're coming from. Spouse and I put both our kids thru college - and we paid for everything that entailed. Did the end up spoiled or with an entitlement attitude? Absolutely not! They are both very grateful and we were more than happy to do it. However, in spite of all the other hard, good things you've done for yourself, getting out of college with no school loans is HUGE and it absolutely did benefit you - not in a "spoiled" way, just a very practical, financial way. It's exactly what we expect our kids to do with our grandkids and we expect our grandkids to be grateful for it, not develop an entitlement attitude - which it sounds like you've done. Good for you!
- CashRebel says:April 26, 2013 at 7:42 AM
We all have our struggles, but at a certain point you've got to figure out how to live responsibly with what you've got. It sounds like it took some major sacrifices, but you were able to do it, and your haters are just a little bit jealous...
- Sandy says:June 26, 2013 at 11:40 AM
I retired at age 39. right after I paid off the house (less than $50,000 mortgage probably still worth the same today while still living there), had no other debt, saved over $120,000 to pay for my son's college education and then found out that he received a full 4-year academic scholarship. The money is sitting there multiplying for him when I pass. He is just as financially conservative as I am in spite of him being an only child. He worked after school during school and full-time summers through his high-school and college years because he wanted to, not because he had to. Comfortably living below the poverty level off this wasteful culture.
- Kraig @ Young Cheap Living says:June 26, 2013 at 12:30 PM
Hi Sandy, The way you're living is awesome. And what a blessing to not only be able to save such a large amount for your son's college, but to not have to use it for college at all. You've set things up to be a true blessing to your son. I'm sure that you feel great about it as well and that's worth a lot. Your son sounds like a great kid/young adult. I can honestly say that he's smarter than I was at that age and he's likely a harder worker as well. You've done well raising him. Best regards,
