Remember, Our Lives Are Ending One Day at a Time
Yesterday afternoon, after working all day on a podcast project that I hope will soon come to fruition, I invited a couple of my ex-coworkers over for a cold one. I live quite close to the office I used to go to every day so it's quite easy for them to stop over my place after the work day. I figured we'd chat about all the great things going on this summer and just chill out, while enjoying our cold beverages. I really enjoyed their company, but I have to say, once they left, I felt kind of crappy inside. Let me explain.
We talked about people who were going through the motions, as if that was the life they had to live. We talked about people who were miserable. These people were friends of mine and people I care about. The reality is that they are giving their lives right now to something that makes them feel less and less confident in themselves and less and less happy every single day. They are doing it willingly.
Once again, I have to express my feelings on this. The fact is, we are dying. Every single day, we're one day closer to death. It's a harsh reality, I know. I get the feeling that most of us think about death as incredibly far away. If we're in our twenties, we think of death as something that we'll face in our 80s, therefore it's 60 years away. Well, my dad died at 46. If I'm 29, that means I'll be that age in 17 years. I had uncles die young as well. One as an infant, a couple in their 40s and another in his 50s. One of my grandpas died in his 60s. I've always looked at my life expectancy as shorter than most, possibly in my 60s or so. If I live longer, great. But I'm not going to live my life as if I'll reach the ripe old age that my grandma is right now, at close to 89.
I can't help but look around and notice a trend among people my age. We have this belief that we're going to live to be 90 or 100. The effect this seems to have is that we're putting our lives on hold until we reach that age (65 or so) or that level of wealth ($1 million?). By "on hold", I mean that we're spending most of our time at the office or at jobs that we don't enjoy. Heck, sometimes we are miserable at these jobs, where we are spending over half of our waking hours at, 5 days a week. And we're commuting 1-2 hours out of every day to get to these jobs as well. How much time are we spending outside, enjoying the sunny days and listening to the birds chirp? We seem to fit it in when we can, which is once or twice a summer. How often do we sit under the stars and listen to the crickets? Not often.
What we seem to be doing, more and more, is commuting in traffic (because more and more of us live in cities or suburbs), sitting at a computer under florescent lights for 8-10 hours a day, commuting back home in traffic, and then getting 2-3 hours of free time before needing to get enough sleep to do it all over again. Where is the time for things that matter to us? Where is the time to enjoy our lives? More and more, we don't have that time. Do you have that time?
I really want to challenge all of us, including myself, to wake up and realize that we only have one life and that we don't have to sell it in the way we are selling it. A friend of mine has been posting pictures lately of his new house. I can't help but look at them and feel prison bars when I think of owning a house like that. It pains me to think of all the selling of my precious life that I would have to do in order to live in that. I honestly want nothing to do with it. My life is too valuable to sell it for fancy things.
Your life is too. Your life is too precious to sell it for a fancy house, a fancy car, a big TV or anything else that they sell at the mall. That crap is meaningless. If you have shelter over your head, which I bet you already do, transportation, which I bet you also do, enough clothes to look presentable and food in your refrigerator, then you're solid. That's all you need. I encourage you not to sell any more of your life than you have to. It's the only one you have.
Okay, so sure, we all need money to support ourselves and our family right? Right, I get it. So, let's go earn enough to do just that. But then, let's knock it off. We don't need surplus if it's just going into consumerism. We don't need to work overtime, if we're just going to use the money to buy a new TV. I'd bet that you'd find more fulfillment if you instead didn't work overtime, but spent that time with your family, going camping in the woods on a beautiful summer night.
Roughing it, actually is fun. Living on less is just as enjoyable as being "spoiled" by fancy luxuries. In my experience, that's true because I feel good knowing that this isn't costing me my life, while a luxurious experience IS costing me my life, and more of it than I want it to.
Back to my co-worker discussions, there are people I care about suffering daily because they feel trapped. I believe it's a shame for anyone to have to be made to feel like crap because of their job. If what someone does with their days isn't improving their life and adding meaning to them, I believe they should chuck it and move on. Yes, I understand that jobs are hard to come by and that the whole thing is a pain. My advice there is first of all, stop living in the consumerism trap. That's the first thing that can allow you to escape from this crap.
Second, think differently about the possibilities in your life. It doesn't always have to be this way. There's this little thing called the free market (or I guess it's a big thing), and this revolutionary invention called the internet, that now allows any one of you, yes including you and me, to not only survive but thrive by doing things we care about. I encourage each and every one of you to believe in yourself enough to consider making a living on your own, and NOT following the job path.
In a job, you aren't free when it comes to half of your waking hours, 5 days a week. In a job, you don't own any of what you create every day. At a job, you repeat the same experience, day after day, year after year. At a job, you can lose your soul, self confidence and your LIFE. At a job, you can be thrown out and have your income cut off at any given time. At a job, you don't have control over your income. At a job, you can get stuck doing things that don't matter to you. Consider thinking differently. Make sure you don't let your life pass you by while you're trying to take possession of all these nice things.
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23 Comments
- Simon Elstad says:August 27, 2013 at 4:11 PM
This is a post that has made me and actually ponder on my life. I concur with you, far too many people myself included are putting our lives on hold until we reach a certain income or age. Its an inverted way of living. You drive the point home quite effectively...we are dying, each day and death should actually be a great motivator to actually live our lives because in the face of death a lot of what we think we can't live without fizzles pretty quickly. Ultimately, its upon me to realize there are alternatives, seek them out and live a fuller, happier and more meaningful life. Thank you for that stark reminder Kraig!
- Kraig @ Young Cheap Living says:August 27, 2013 at 5:00 PM
Thanks Simon. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
- Scott says:August 27, 2013 at 4:16 PM
Awesome article! I don't know where to start... It's a hard thing to think about, the fact that we are dying, but it really helps put life in perspective. So much of our time is spent obsessing over the past or worrying about the future, meanwhile, all that really matters is the present. It's all that we have. And yet, the majority of us spend our times TRYING to secure our perfect vision of the future. We cling to very specific ideas of how our life needs to play out, allowing ourselves to become attached to an idea that may never manifest itself. We are so worried about the future that we forget to live or better yet we are afraid to live. It doesn't matter how much money you have or how awesome your retirement benefits seem, when you seek comfort and security externally, you will never have enough. You'll always worry about the future and wonder, 'what if?'. Look at all the unhappy rich people in the world. Although we often like to think that money means happiness, reality shows us there's more to it than that. So why are we all so focused on grabbing up money and securing a lavish future? Wouldn't it be better if we all learned to value the present? To use our money to buy time? To value lifestyle and happiness over money and comfort? Can't we transform this endless rat race into a place where people work to live? Where we take what we need and help those around us? I know I'm ranting but this idea gets me fired up. I don't know what the point of my ramblings was other than to express my agreement with your ideas. I enjoyed the post. Thanks
- Kraig @ Young Cheap Living says:August 27, 2013 at 4:38 PM
Great, Scott (oops, I sound like Doc Brown). I agree with you and am glad you appreciated the post. I'm fired up as well. I'm more and more believing in living in the here and now. Yes, that can sometimes lead to bad decisions, but I think it can also lead to very good ones. Ones where you actually live your life instead of put it all off until "some day".
- Angela Hoolick says:October 19, 2016 at 10:18 PM
Thank you for your writing. I'm sharing it with everyone. I believe wholeheartily in your mindset, its refreshing. I want my young adult children to think this way also. I am currently battling cancer and I am tired of working this way, I'm long past ready to give up the materialism, however, as a life long procrastinator, tomorrow never comes. Help me take the first step toward my independence, please. Angela
- Brenden says:August 27, 2013 at 6:44 PM
This is a great post. I must admit to succumbing to that feeling of invincibility. Death is for old people, right? In the last year or so it has really hit home for me that things cost time. This has really helped me determine needs vs wants. Buying more signs me up for more work. (And the student loans I took out in school will keep me busy for a few more years yet.) I like the perspective you give in this post. I am lucky that I am at a job that keeps me interested and rewards hard work. But I don't want to be there forever. Like you said in the article I don't want to sell my whole life because that won't leave much left for myself.
- Kraig @ Young Cheap Living says:August 27, 2013 at 7:22 PM
Brendon, Glad to hear you enjoyed the post. My main point was that no matter how old we are, we aren't guaranteed a certain number of years. I believe we should value all those fancy goods less so we don't have to sell our remaining years just to possess all that. When that day comes that you want to do something differently, if it hasn't already come, then how great would it be if you actually could? Take care my friend,
- krantcents says:August 27, 2013 at 7:17 PM
As I get older, it becomes more evident! I try to make every day count for something. As I near retirement, I realize that my remaining years are very finite and I am starting to think I should accelerate my journey into retirement.
- Kraig @ Young Cheap Living says:August 27, 2013 at 7:19 PM
KC, No matter our age, our remaining years are finite. I did want to urge people to consider the fact that all we have is now. We should really start thinking about now a bit more than we usually do. What if tomorrow doesn't come. Seriously... Take care,
- Ashley @ Saving Money in your Twenties says:August 28, 2013 at 9:46 AM
Another AMAZING post! Couldn't have come at a better time for me. I've been contemplating making a career change and this reminds me that there's no time like the present. Life is too short to say "oh, I'll stick it out another year" because who knows what will happen within the next year? Keep up the awesome posts! You're giving me (and I'm sure many others) a TON of inspiration.
- Kraig @ Young Cheap Living says:August 30, 2013 at 8:25 AM
Hi Ashley, No, there actually isn't any time like the present. More and more lately, I've been figuring that out. When people say, "Kraig, are you nuts?", I just have to respond with, "No, this is my life we're talking about here." The heck with giving it up and selling it out. I hope you'll figure out this next step for you and be successful in whatever it is you do next! Have a great holiday weekend!
- Kyle @ Debt Free Diaries says:August 29, 2013 at 10:02 AM
I love that you wrote this! I've often thought about the fact that we're one step closer to death every day. It makes me wonder how I want to leave the world, and how I want to leave my family. I hope to leave both better off than before. That's why I devote so much of my time right now into our side-business so that one day my family is taken care of when I'm gone, and I'm assuming I'll go first. Have you been working long on your podcast project? I'm excited about the possibility of learning more from you.
- Kraig @ Young Cheap Living says:August 30, 2013 at 8:29 AM
Hi Kyle, Thanks for the kind words. I really like your strategy of devoting your time and energy to your side business. The way I see it is you're investing in business ownership, where you build an asset that you OWN and that will continue to pay income out as you do things with your life that you REALLY care about. Let me know if I can help you in any way. How long? Well, probably for about a month or so. I've probably put 15 or so hours into the first three episodes, but it should get shorter from here, now that I've figured it all out. Take care!
- Done by Forty says:August 29, 2013 at 2:58 PM
I am probably playing with fire a little, in our plan to work & save hard now to reach financial independence later. It's a gamble I'm comfortable with in that if I took a mini-retirement now, I am not confident that I could get the same income going forward. I suppose any path involves these risks but you've definitely given me some food for thought, so thank you.
- Kraig @ Young Cheap Living says:August 30, 2013 at 8:34 AM
DBF, I just couldn't do what you're doing. It's a longer path that I was willing to take. Having this passion for business, I have more confidence personally in my ability to build a business income than I do in sticking out a full time job until financial independence. I think your strategy is great too. I just couldn't do it. Hopefully, you're enjoying things now too because there always is that possibility that our lives could be cut short, possibly even shorter than your path to FI. Have a great Labor Day Weekend!
- Imran Ali says:August 29, 2013 at 4:10 PM
An Awesome Article with some amazing information to take away. You can't always be at a normal 9-5 office job, there is life beyond that. I appreciate what you are doing.
- Kraig @ Young Cheap Living says:August 30, 2013 at 8:35 AM
Imran, Thanks for stopping by the for the words of encouragement. I'm glad to have you on board. Take care,
- Ivan says:August 29, 2013 at 8:04 PM
A very thought-provoking post, Kraig! You’ve made a good point on not wanting to sell your life for fancy things. I often take the price of something and convert it into how many hours I would need to work in order to pay it off. The thought of me having to slaving away for that amount of time is usually enough for me to put that thing right back on the shelf!
- Kraig @ Young Cheap Living says:August 30, 2013 at 8:38 AM
Ivan, That's a good way of thinking, to take the price of what you're considering buying and calculate how many hours of your time (or life) it would take to pay for it. It really puts things into perspective. If we're trading our lives for money, like most of us are, this is exactly how we should be looking at it because each thing we buy IS a little piece of our life. Not many things are worth my precious life, if you ask me. Take care my friend,
- Megan says:August 31, 2013 at 12:38 PM
Hi Kraig, I just found your blog, and have to say, I love it! This article really jives with me in a lot of ways. I often think how hugely privileged I am to have both a day job and a personal project that inspire, motivate and energize me. I know I want to work until I fall down dead at my desk, and I know that makes me really lucky. SO many folks are obliged to do things they don't really want to, some for better reasons than others, but it really puts things in perspective to think you could check out at any time... and what you have done is all you get. Thank you for this! I am inspired to get back to work! ;-)
- Wade says:September 3, 2013 at 10:09 AM
Well written Kraig. Here is my current dilemma. I am 42 (married, 3 kids). I've worked at a large software company for 18+ years. It was great up until the last few years. I find myself on the outside looking in. I changed roles about a year ago. My new role is worse. I sent in my resignation letter last week. Sept 30th is my last day. My wife is onboard. Clear sailing into the sunset. But I find myself thinking I should "try again" there is another position open at the same company. It could be the role that extends my career. Or it could be the final final straw. More likely the latter. Based on my thoughts and your article I need to just sail off into the sunset and do something different. We are financially secure, my wife likes her job, no debt or mortgage. But we do spend like we have 2 incomes. Just an interesting time. Ups and downs. We could simply save less and give a little less and be just fine. It is ingrained for that to feel like failure.
- Kraig @ Young Cheap Living says:September 3, 2013 at 10:14 AM
Wade, Very interesting situation. Thanks for sharing it. My first thoughts are, congratulations for being in such a great position financially. Secondly, have you thought about your dream lifestyle as far as what you would do with your time, energy, talents and skills if you had the time? I know how hard it can be to think that way. It's something we're just not used to. Are there things you have always wished you could do? What change would you like to see in the world? Well, now could be the time to give that a go. If I were you, I'd consider that path instead of continuing down this job road. It's a scary path though, but one that could likely lead to a more fulfilling and purposeful life. Just think of all the time you would be able to spend with the people you care about the most and even the causes you care about most. I'd love to chat more if you'd like. Shoot me an email (kraig@createmyindependence.com) if you'd like to talk. I'd love to hear more.
